Kill Life, start with those amazing vocals, and probably the effect on here.
Alone, is the track that pulled me towards …
Kill Life, start with those amazing vocals, and probably the effect on here.
Alone, is the track that pulled me towards this record. First line, “Once again life is killing me”, and I think, that is a very strong line. How is “life” supposed to be “killing you”. Somehow those two words weren’t supposed to be put together like that, heavy emphasis on “supposed”.
House of Nostalgia, I love, but I forgot why.
Love’s Burial Ground, has that amazing riff where it sounds as if the guitar is throwing up.
Slave
Forgotten Tomb MMIII, is really fun with that riff at the start. The rest of the song is just as fun, and well, I’ve always liked the slight effects on vocals. Or maybe there are no effects? In any case, I love the part at 2:53, where he goes “FORGOTTEN TOMB”, then proceeds to Forgotten Tomb all over those bad guys.
And of course I didn’t forget about the strategically placed “Malus Vivendi” tracks, which well, it feels as if though they’re giving you a break of all the hopeless doom that you’ve been listening to… However.
As one reviewer puts it, what might seem like depressive cynic nihilism to other people, if you look a bit closely, you will find that it really is the artists trying to grapple with the will to live. Trying to comprehend those two sides in your own head, one that really wants to live, and one that really, really wants you dead.
Well, if you notice a bit closely, you will find that “Alone” has quite an upbeat riff, which is why it’s been my favorite for a very long time. 4:52. That part has been stuck in my head for so long, and I tried to figure out which track had that, but I couldn’t. Listen to it, it’s hopeful. It’s upbeat. It is cathartic. And my favorite lyrics from that track is “As I try to sleep to heal this madness. But this bed now seems to be like my tomb” As someone who can’t really sleep anymore, I am basically forced to experience the madness in its full extent.
This beautiful animation that was recommended to me by Robert Thomson. It deals with disability.
youtube | invidious
I remembered this animation yesterday, when I was writing in my journal. Here’s an excerpt:
I remember now, “Orgesticulanismus”… That video has 27K views, yet it is one of the most powerful and beautiful animations ever. When I watched this, I remember being quite healthy, and I was like “that must sound really tough, I can’t even imagine” yet here we are, here I. Am.
Now. There are many things in my life, that I said “will never happen to me”, I dismissed these things so …
Now. There are many things in my life, that I said “will never happen to me”, I dismissed these things so easily, only for them to apply to me. Like I remember hearing about LGBT people, and I was like “wow, I can’t even imagine” yet here I am, this my face when I realize this:
So here I am now, and I watch this animation, and I’m like wow. I relate to this so so much. These strings that bind people, A have never felt these strings. It is only when my movement became restricted, that i started to feel them. The lower strings feel like chains to me.
When I was robbed of movement, I started to feel things I’ve never felt before, I started to feel the tugging and pulling of these strings, it’s almost like my own body is resisting movement in all of its forms, it’s like it’s revolting against me, asking me to stand still, and just take in the pain.
Like the man in the video says (who is the animator’s father), when you lose movement, you have to reinvent it, you have to learn how to walk, how to hug, how to fix things, you have to relearn the very basics of movement.
Now, if you’re still reading this, and you haven’t watched it, please do!
When the “human” or (humans) break out of these strings and start dancing, it put a smile on my face. Like I had a very grim look at the first half, and I was watching how the people change, and how they try to stand up from the chair. I related to that, oh so much. I just saw a person standing up, yet the expression of that animation, carried so much information.
And so they revolt, they break the strings, “Fuck this” they say, and they start dancing, and the dancing animation is something else, my favorite part is when that baby grows up while dancing, then becomes an astronaut and stuff, that was very cool, so cool, and so wow.
I have felt that when I listen to very cathartic metal albums. Everything hurts, but I feel the need to stand up and start dancing, and I dance, and for a couple of moments, mere minutes, I don’t feel the pain, I feel free. But then my neck and shoulders start to hurt for days, I do follow standard headbanging procedure, but it still hurts.
At some point they revolt against flesh itself, and we have a skeleton dancing, and the movement of that skeleton to me, when it moves, I can hear and feel the sound of bones rubbing together. Then they revolt against their material form, and just fucking, fucking, go abstract. And the dialogue of that man comes back, and it’s really, really lovely.
Please give this animation love, and send it to everyone. I already had it downloaded on 2021. (That sentence doesn’t feel right.)
CW: Suicide, Depression, and Beautifully Depressive Music
Hi, hi! I created youtube playlists so I can share my musics with people. So like uhh, umm, it’s mostly Depressive Black Metal, but there’s umm Thrash, and uhh, Post-Punk! And errrm, hmmm, some Electronic? Yes, yes.
Here’s the legend (I will keep updating this as I go I suppose):
T. = Theme
S. = Series
Z. = Misc/Stuff I keep in the back
I’ll try to make appropriate themes, like I probably have some “cute” stuff somewhere. Hmmm. Actually …
I’ll try to make appropriate themes, like I probably have some “cute” stuff somewhere. Hmmm. Actually after compiling the “Favorites” playlist, I realized that 90% of my black metal is DBM. I don’t like to call it “Depressive Suicidal Black Metal” because on the contrary, it makes me feel less suicidal.
DBM Band: “Kill yourself.”
Me: “Well I’m not doing it anymore!”
Cool Bands I Found
I have a post on DBM in the works, as the genre has helped me quite a lot, and a lot of great artists and musics have come out of the DBM scene. Lately I’ve been getting into Gris and Pensées Nocturnes, and Pensées Nocturnes’s “Vacuum” is insane.
The metal archives hates reviews that take the album “track by track” but I don’t care, so I’m doing just that.
Cicatrices
I play these when I go to sleep, the track “Cicatrices” grabbed my attention. We have those screams at 3:30, then get ready for it, that riff at 4:29? I always sway my head and shoulders along it, it sounds like everything is falling apart, and it’s just oh, so beautiful. I swear I’m gonna create a hall of riffs that every time I hear, I need to stop everything I’m doing and vibe to them. You just can’t listen to that 4:29 without paying attention to it. Plus the piano that joins in at that part. F-uck-ing. Just wow.
Veux-Tu Danser
The intro is haunting. Baby sounds, and little baby song chimes. I love it when artists sample stuff about childhood, and when they sample it well, it works amazingly. Like that one time Lifelover sampled “Emil i Lönneberga - Bom sicka bom” at the end of “Nackskott”? Just haunting, to hear a happy innocent song play in such a gut-wrenching album. I’ll make a post about bands sampling cool stuff.
Apparently the track translates to “Do You Want to Dance?” (hah!) after that riff in Cicatrices? I’ll take you up on that offer!
All in all the album is haunting, beautiful, brutal, and of course depressive. I will be looking like this when I read the name “GRIS”
Neo-classical. Avant-garde. Black metal? H-ollly. I swear the compositions of “Vacuum” are, just so crazy, I was listening to it, and I couldn’t stop noticing how beautiful this music goes. Hell, I even wished they’d ditch the guitars and just go full classical. Depressive Classical musics would go hard. Something about these beautiful instruments, and the wailing, howling, crying, groaning, moaning, and shrieking of the vocals would go very beautifully. I still have no idea what my favorite tracks are, I guess I’ll update this when I find out :) But there’s this one melody, that is still stuck in my mind, like, just… Explodes
I mean come on! If you’re into DBM, you gotta know about Jericho, right? They are this person, that makes DBM compilations, full with download links, album covers, metadata, and even a little thingy so you can DIY print your own disc. Fucking wild. Anyway there are many great tracks on that compilation, but I swear that “Another Day (Ita) - Another Day Has Begun” is just the highlight of the whole thing. I couldn’t even find it on youtube, I had to download it straight from Jericho. I luv Jericho, and I already have so much DBM from them <3
Oof there’s also “Apathetical Syndrome - Одиночество” and that one is just terribly sad. The vocalist seems to be tearing through their vocal chords, that can’t be safe at all :(
The Chopping Block
What led me to GRIS was “Sombres Forets - La Nuit” and the screams on that one are just, mmuuah. When the vocalist says “Laa Zuuuureeeeeee” I really feel that. I mean I have looked at the album “Quintessence” but I don’t seem to recall anything interesting about it, although I’m pretty sure I’ll force myself to love it.
